The Emotions of Infertility

Infertility is a difficult subject to address for most people who have to deal with it. For a couple, it can be quite challenging because your emotions can get the better of you. It is important to recognise the emotions that rise up during this time.

You will experience a range of emotions when you have to deal with infertility. These may be some or all of the emotions that may manifest.

Blame – it is a fight or flight response to push blame onto someone else. Blaming someone or something else is a way that a person fights for themselves. You shift the blame and move the focus elsewhere. Therefore you feel less responsible for the infertility. It’s not your fault and you’ll tend to tell yourself this. This can be a dangerous emotion if you are directing the blame at your partner. You could make your partner feel responsible, guilty or unworthy of your love and companionship. It is important to avoid blaming each other for the sake of the relationship.

Anger – whatever the cause of the infertility is could become the subject of your anger. The circumstances, the illness, your body or whatever it may be could cause a rise of anger. Sometimes partners tend to direct the anger at each other. This can be harmful to the relationship so it’s essential that you deal with your feelings of anger by talking to a counsellor.

Denial – at first the reality of infertility may not sink in. You could feel like it’s not happening to you, or that it’s one big dream or mistake. This is a normal phase when receiving bad news. After a period of time, you will pass this phase so that you can move forward with fertility treatments.

Guilt – feelings of guilt or shame may arise and this is especially prevalent where one partner badly wants to have a baby. The other partner may feel guilty if they are unable to naturally conceive a baby with their partner. A supportive partner or a counsellor can help you deal with these feelings.

Self-pity – self-pity can be a pit of despair for most couples. They tend to feel unworthy and less complete. You can overcome this feeling by talking to someone and moving forward with an alternative plan for the future.

Jealousy – seeing pregnant women and couples with young children can cause jealousy to arise in you. Take the time to identity this emotion and talk to a counsellor about it.

For some couples the reality of infertility is a permanent one while there may be hope for others via fertility treatments. It’s always best to consult the advice of a fertility doctor to help you.

BioART Fertility Centre offers a unique experience in fertility treatment. We have a long history of state of the ART fertility care delivered with a personal touch. Each and every patient is treated as a unique couple with individual problems and needs. We combine a dignified and compassionate approach with state-of-the-art, advanced reproductive technologies.

Contact Us: +27 11 484 5119