Infertility: Is Anyone to Blame?

Infertility can be a very sensitive topic for many couples. Seeing other couples have babies while you’re trying so hard to conceive can be disconcerting and heart breaking for a couple. Although it’s a sensitive issue to both parties, there may be a tendency to blame someone.

It is human nature to blame someone if something goes wrong. This happens in all areas of life, whether it is at work, amongst friends, with family or in relationships. When something happens that is not according to plan, we try to find the root of the problem and who was there when the problem started. Then we investigate as to whether that person intentionally caused the problem or knowingly went along with it while they could have stopped it. And that is where the blaming starts. This can be very damaging to any relationship.

When infertility comes into the picture, we are not exempt from this process because we want to find a solution. Instead this could backfire and cause a dangerous case of the blame game. Whether you blame yourself or your partner, either one could be detrimental to the health of your relationship. If a husband blames the wife this can affect her confidence and self-esteem which could impact the way she interacts with her husband and other people. If a wife blames the husband, this can affect his ego and masculinity. He could feel emasculated and not enough of a man for his wife. The blame game can break down both partners leaving them to be a shell of their former selves.

Whether infertility issues are found in the male or the female, it is important not to blame anyone. Many of the factors that cause infertility may have been unavoidable. If it is avoidable or reversible then you have a means forward. Blaming doesn’t resolve the issue, working together as a couple with your fertility doctor does. At the fertility clinic, a fertility doctor will be able to give you a course of treatment that would be in line with your fertility issues. As a couple, you need to support each other during this time because stress can decrease the possibility of conception. So it is essential that you both remain calm and carry on with your lives as a normal couple.

Infertility can be tough and it can be a lengthy journey. However, if you have a strong foundation as a couple, you can get through this.

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